This post has taken me entirely too long to write. I written it, erased it, and rewritten it a dozen times and I still can't find a way to say what I'm feeling. So to start things off.
The beautiful February morning on Kaylmnos Greece.
I spend more time thinking and not enough time talking. For most people it's the other way around. These days people seem to talk out their ass and hope something good comes out. But for me I find myself processing my response thoroughly before any words come out of my mouth. Because of my thoughtful reaction to communication people lose interest and we always end up with small talk, which I hate. I have no interest in how you spent your day or what your mom is up to. Talk to me about your passions, your dreams, and your goals. Tell me about the things that make us all unique. The fact that these are the things I want to know about, I think affect the way I communicate.
Yosemite Valley, California
My heavy heart and old soul yearn for adventure and passion, whether it's my own or hearing about someone else. But it seems like this passion if becoming more rare among this generation. Which might sound surprising because of the huge influx of people wanting to give up everything to live in their van and travel the states with their dog by their side. Which is a great, wonderful adventure that I want to hear about but the more people I meet who have managed to get that far seem to fall short in my eyes. There are few people I meet who are actually doing it right. Traveling in their vehicle of choice, chasing the weather that suits them best, and following a passion that drives them. The passion part of the equation is where most people fall short. I meet a lot of people who are doing this because of some excuse of another, I didn't like my job, I didn't want to pay bills, or the best excuse yet, I needed to find myself... That one is the worst. We spend our whole lives figuring out who we want to be, but if there's no passion driving that journey how will you ever figure it out. I love talking with all of these traveling nomads but conversation usually falls short when it comes to passion. I have a lot of passion for what I do, where I live, and the people around me, but the more people I meet and the more I read I'm realizing that not everyone else feels that way, and a lot people have a hard time doing things with conviction and passion.
Delicate Arch, Arches National Park, Moab Utah
Its seems like the people of my generation are all about being better, faster, and stronger than the person before them, even being better than their friends, and I just don't find that appealing. Maybe it's because I've never been the best at something or maybe it's because I would rather encourage my friends to do their best, rather than being the best. I feel like there's a large disconnect between doing your personal best and being the best. Life is not a competition between everyone else. Life is about doing your best and having the life you want.
As I sit on my porch drinking my morning coffee, enjoying the view, I realize that everything I was taught, the way I was raised and where I was raised has brought me to this mental state. One of the best life lessons my parents could have ever taught me happened when we moved from the bay area of California to the southeastern desert of Utah. We didn't move to make more money or because my parents got better jobs, we moved for the exact opposite. Life style change. For my parents it was never about money, they actually gave up a pretty sever pay cut during the move. They were tired of living to work, and wanted to live a fulfilling life. Mountain biking everyday, playing on the river, finding our own adventures, lost in the desert. It's a childhood kids dream of, and everything about it made me who I am. I couldn't imagine it any other way. Because of that, I find myself doing things that make me happy rather than things that make money, I mean I have an art degree because I love art, if I wanted to make money I would go to business school. I learned at a young age that it's more important to e happy than it is to have a full bank account. Now, don't think my life is all rainbows and adventures, I do live in a tourist based town and you bet your ass that I work my ass off during peak season in order to have the lifestyle I want, but I work at places I enjoy and do jobs that make me happy. I make a lot of jokes and say a lot of things about how the desert heals most things, camping is the best medicine, and adventure is the way to the soul. Because I live in a place where all of these things are so acceptable and accessible, they are becoming more and more true as days go by. I've had hard times in my life, I've been stressed beyond belief, grief has fallen on my family, and it seems like no matter what is happening in my life, a couple nights alone in the desert or mountains is the best way to bring me back to center. It's calming just thinking about it. We live in a chaotic world that can be hard to escape, but our passions, and dreams are what help us make it through the day. So when I meet people that seem to fall short when it comes to those things, I can't help but think to myself, how are they ever going to make it through this crazy thing we call life. Passion.
